I was coached by my brilliant mentor and friend last week and we ended up on a topic that has challenged me consistently over the past nine months. A topic I have discussed frequently with many lately, as it’s not only near and dear to my mending heart, but one I find absolutely fascinating. “Letting go “. What does “letting go” really mean and if it is as easy as many so flippantly make it out to be, can you please give me directions on how it is done? I am nearing much closer to a true understanding of what it means to let go. I am finally starting to feel like I am gaining personal strength and fortitude in the massive effort I have made in not wasting this opportunity to grow through pain and learn as a woman, partner, mother, and friend.
What my coach said stuck. She said, “letting go is the outcome Jaime, the work is in the acceptance of what is “. Yes. Yes. Yes! It’s not that I didn’t understand letting go and what it meant, it was more that I didn’t understand HOW it was done. This explanation makes sense to me, I get it! Acceptance makes sense. Like life and death, acceptance is something my brain seems to understand as a part of life. That that which we can’t control, we learn to accept. Sure, we grieve and have sadness, but we accept it as what is. Since day one of my personal trauma I found myself lost in podcasts searching for answers and help with the pain I was feeling so deeply. What I found, that came to me like a miracle I’d been searching for in a time of need, was so similar to this.
“Take a look at your situation in life, and ask yourself, what about all of this is in my control? Anything that is not, must be accepted as what is. The rest is what you have to work with. The rest is what you can control. You can control reactions and your personal choices from here on out.”
Today. Today is in our control. Not yesterday, and every other day before that. Today and moving forward, we have so many choices we can make and that is our power. Choose happiness. Choose strength. Choose to see how lucky we all are for the simple pleasures we get to enjoy daily. Start as basic as you need to…..be grateful for a roof over your head, a phone to use daily, food on the table, clothes on your back. Start anywhere, but begin to make a choice in a new direction.
After nine long months, not only do I feel like I have found my answer, but I feel that much closer to my goal. For me, acceptance seems more attainable than letting go. It seems doable. Not easy, but not impossible. It amazes me how sometimes something as simple as semantics can completely change how we understand something. Thank you Denisa for your inspiring and incredibly powerful words. Letting go perhaps isn’t the goal at all, but what will unfold naturally as the situation is accepted in our hearts. Control what we have within our power and accept with as much grace as possible, what is not. ♥️