How do I let go?

I used to ask this daily of myself, my friends….anyone who may have an answer. Everyone tells me, “you need to let go”….like it’s easy, like you make a decision and then you just do it. Boom, magic, it is done.

I have discovered that it’s just not that easy. What I have learned through my own experiences, is that “letting go” isn’t a simple, one time act. Maybe it isn’t even an act at all, but the result. Maybe it happens with time and with continued, purposeful effort. Directed choices, and acts on purpose. Deliberate daily reminders to feel what you feel and not run from even the most painful of emotions. Feel them, cry, scream, talk, breathe…whatever it takes, but be sure to authentically be present in those moments.

Be aware. Acknowledge the hurt and the difficulties.  In these times, also be mindful that you will not always feel this way. Know that this most definitely will pass. So, feel it all, live it all, and trust you will get past this.

In doing so, and by practicing this over and over, you will teach yourself that you are strong and you will survive. You begin to live intentionally and you are building resilience. Don’t numb these feelings with alcohol, drugs or anything that makes you NOT feel. Even the most uncomfortable, awful, painful stuff. This is where the gold is. This is where we find growth. By successfully feeling these feelings as they come, each and every time, we let go a little more. We make it another minute, another hour, another day. Soon months have passed and we look back, often a bit surprised, as we realize how much has changed and how far we have come. We become more confident and proud, and we see that although often we are not sure exactly how we did it…..we did indeed move forward. Bit by bit, we lived our truth and grew stronger through the struggle.

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